What books have taught me...

Due to rain, I haven't been able to get into town to go to the library every day, so I have been forced to read any old book that I find lying around the house. A number of these have been historical romance novels, and I have learned a great deal from them... for example:

• Girls who are ugly children always turn out to be stunning women.
• A woman isn't considered a slut for loving 3 men at the same time, as long as she doesn't canoodle with them all at the same time.
• She can canoodle with the other men (one at a time) if the man she's married to dies.
• A woman's husband will always die in some tragic way (hunting accident, catching an illness from helping the poor etc), right at the time that she doesn't love him anymore.
• During the course of the book, one of her children will die in a tragic way.
• Everything will all work out in the end, if she has lost her fortune, her final husband will be rich.

Its all very heartwarming really, it just goes to show that no matter what happens to you, its not really your fault and some rich man will save you anyway... so just hang on.